Job Description: True Korean "Ajumma"
A true Korean ajumma goes beyond the literal translation of “aunt” and delves further into the stereotype of creating a third Korean gender: man, woman, ajumma. She, the candidate, will possess a broad knowledge of traditional Korean recipes and mothering, as well as grandmothering and possibly great-grandmothering depending on experience. If successful, candidates will contribute greatly to the ajumma cliche providing irritable customer service while somehow maintaining the public’s respect.
- Must be constantly in a rush and willing to shove innocent bystanders out of the way.
- Must have the ability to sit on the floor (preferably in the way of pedestrians) for hours on end.
- Must be able to eat twice the amount of food of an average person.
- Must maintain a perfect scowl and surly demeanor alone, but adopt a pleasant attitude in the presence of other ajummas.
- Must always cut strangers in line, no matter how busy everyone seems.
- Must be comfortable using public restrooms without locking, or even closing, the stall door.
- Must occasionally smile and offer open subway seats to foreigners.
While not officially required, the following are strongly encouraged:
- Short permed hair
- Abundance of floral shirts
- Therapeutic shoes
- Inability to be bothered by the little things (or anything, really)
At least 65 years of human existence